The Gift Exchange

So today at work we had our annual Christmas party and "Steal and steal" gift exchange. Ever since Monday morning when I arrived at work to find the explosion of Christmas baking all over the counter at my desk, we've been waiting for this day to arrive knowing that the goodies and food would be pure craziness! This year we had many new additions to our department which of course equaled even MORE food than usual. I brought my (almost) famous Shmoo cupcakes and homemade "Clodhoppers", but there were also homemade Christmas cookies, cheeseballs, shrimp rings, dainties, brownies, the list goes on and on...and this was even before lunch! By 10:00am there was an email to all stating the "grazing could begin"! Lunch began at 12:30 and we had all the usual suspects: Turkey with gravy, cranberry sauce and stuffing, ham, meatballs, cabbage rolls, perogies, garlic sausage, scalloped potatoes, hashbrown casserole, chicken skewers, spring rolls, 5 different kinds of salads, etc...I got full just standing in line waiting to get the food. Then after the meal, even more treats came out: homemade tiramisu, cheesecakes, chocolates...CRAZINESS.

However, the best part of our Christmas party is always the "Steal and steal" gift exchange! Anyone who brought a $10.00 (or more) unisex gift was able to play. We chose our numbers and the game began...

Now, I've joined this gift exchange ever since I started my current job and I've usually gotten a pretty good gift. However, one year I TOTALLY got shafted. As in, it was a pretty crappy gift. One that no one was going to "steal" from me. Ugh. It was "fake" candy bought at the dollar store. Fake as in, dollar store brand Smarties, dollar store brand LifeSavers, dollar store brand chocolate, all stuffed in a dollar store brand coffee cup. I'm pretty sure it wasn't $10.00 (or more) and I was really kind of pissed off about it, especially since the gift I brought that year was AWESOME. I swore it would never happen to me again. So ever since then, I've employed a strategy that almost guarantees me getting a good gift everytime, if not the one I really want!

See, what you need to do is pretty much in the name of the game: steal. Do that and the following things, and you can pretty much get exactly what you want!

1. Don't get taken in by the gifts' outward appearance. Anyone can buy good wrapping paper or in the case of when I got scammed: a pretty gift bag. (That was mistake number one for me. I love me some pretty paper and gift bags. Sometimes I'll buy gift bags, with no intention of ever using them for a gift. They're just for me to have and admire.) So yeah, this thinking is what got me to choose that gift. Remember: no one wants to spend more than they have to on wrapping paper or gift bags, so those things most likely come from a dollar store. It has nothing to do with what's inside.
2. Try to gather as much information about the gifts currently under the tree. In the days leading up to your gift exchange, start casually asking questions like: Are you in the gift exchange? Do you know what you're planning to give? Of course, most people won't want to tell you what they're planning on giving, so then you can say "I don't know what to get! Do you guys have any ideas?" Gauge their responses. If they suggest a gift card or a bottle of wine, or something that you like, then that person's gift is usually safe to choose. However, if they say something like "Just pick something up at the dollar store" then you will probably not want to choose that person's gift. They're in it to get something better than they put in. Therefore, stay away from their gift. Far away.
3. Once you've gleaned as much info as you can from your fellow gift exchangers, try to hang out in the lunch room the morning of the party - so you can see who's bringing in what package. However, don't be obvious - busy yourself with "organizing" the food for the lunch or any other type of helpful activity that will not call attention to the fact that you are "scoping"out everyone else's gifts. 
4. For your own gift, get something that you like. In fact, get something that you actually want or need (but something that not everyone will necessarily want or need.) Maybe even get something that specifically matches with your own decor or something that maybe requires you to have more than one of. This can be a way for you to kill two birds with one stone: For example, say you only have $10.00. You are planning to use it to buy your gift exchange gift. But then you also need a pretty stocking hook for your sequined stocking to hang on your fireplace and you find one for $10.00! What do you do? Well, you use the money to buy the stocking hook and then put that in as your gift. Two birds, one stone.
5. The most important rule is to always STEAL. Never, EVER get a new gift from underneath the tree. The way our gift exchange works at my work, is that when someone grabs a gift from under the tree, they have to open it, so everyone else can see what it is. This is key. IF you steal someone else's gift, you will never be surprised by what you get - because you've taken something that someone else has already opened.

But then, you ask, how can I make sure to get my gift (or something equally great)? Well, my friends, to actually get your own gift, may take some luck AND some good acting. When picking your number, it's always better to get a later number (ie. closer to the middle or the end). This is where your luck comes in. However, even if you get an earlier number you can still possibly get a great gift. If you happen to get say,  #2, then either choose your own gift (make a big show about trying to choose other gifts, and finally "settle" on your own) OR choose a gift that looks like it may be liquor or wine. Someone will ALWAYS steal liquor or wine from you...this will buy you the chance to be able to choose another gift that someone has already opened, or again, your own gift. If you get your own gift, don't make it obvious that it was your own gift. You can't show too much love for it because if people know that you really like it, they're more likely to steal it from you...just to be mean. Be indifferent.

Some people think the steal and steal gift exchange is pure fun. It's not. It's a battle of nerves. If you want a good gift, you need to be alert and pay attention. You need to remember how many times a gift has been stolen because (as in our gift exchange) there may be a rule where a gift can only be stolen a maximum number of times (in our case, once a gift has been stolen twice, the last person to have it, gets to keep it). If you steal something, hoping that someone will steal it from you, but haven't paid attention to the fact that it's already been stolen the maximum number of times, you are stuck with it.

If your own gift has been put out of commission (ie. you were not able to keep it and it has been stolen the max. number of times) make sure you have your eye on a back-up gift that you like. Failing that, if you're going to steal someone's gift, that you don't really like, want or need, make sure you steal one that has great "re-gift" value. Remember, one man's trash, could be another man's treasure. So steal a gift that you wouldn't be embarrassed to re-gift.

Now remember, don't get tempted to choose something unknown from under the tree.  Some people may wrap their gifts in separate containers to lure you with "a two or three container gift" (making you think that you're getting more than just one gift) or they may wrap it in a big box, hoping to fool you into thinking "bigger is better". Don't fall for it! That's for other people to do. Your mission is to steal the perfect gift. If you can follow these rules, I'm sure you will end up with a gift you are very happy with. You're welcome.

I wish you luck in this season's gift exchanging extravaganza! Happy Gift Exchanging Stealing!

PS. In case you're wondering, I did get a great gift today. It was my own gift: a pretty stocking hook to hang my sequined stocking on my fireplace. And...I also got to keep my cute gift bag.