CSI: Goodlife

Tonight I was the victim of a crime. 

And it happened literally behind my back in front of my face! 

Here I was all excited about my zumba class this evening (Wednesday classes are the best!) and my good friend and gym partner, Suze and I were all pumped and ready to begin. It started out as usual...But unbeknownst to me, things were going to take a strange and unexpected turn. 

Now, you've heard me complain before, how I can't stand when people get all up in my grill and don't know the meaning of personal space. (This is MY space. That's YOUR space.) I also can't stand when someone rips a "SBD" (silent, but deadly) in the middle of class and then tries to pretend it wasn't them. (Yo, I know it was one of you fools, cuz it wasn't me!) That's a crime in and of itself. But no, this was not what happened to me tonight. I was a victim of pure and utter THIEVERY!!!! 

We had just finished a new cardio routine and I walked over to grab a drink of water from my water bottle and....it wasn't there! It was like it vanished into thin air...except that it didn't. I turned back to Suze, with a puzzled look on my face - confused as to who would have stolen another person's water?! My friend looked at me then quickly looked at the other women around us...it had to be one of them...but who? Unfortunately, I didn't have time to figure it out because the teacher quickly began another cardio set...But I was completely thrown off. My usual coordination was gone as I pondered why anyone would want to steal someone else's water? I mean, I get it, it's a crazy workout and you do get thirsty (Trust me, I know - at this point, I was completely dying of thirst) but why the hell would you take someone else's water?! It just didn't make any sense! If you come into class without a water bottle, and then begin drinking someone else's water...how does one do that? Or, if you come into class with your water bottle, how do you mistake it for someone else's? Anyways, I pondered this while we continued on...

Suze, who had previously been a victim of this crime a few months ago, suspiciously eyed the rest of the class and understood all too well this feeling of violation.  At the end of class, as she collected her water bottle, we noticed my water bottle had been returned, sitting innocently as if it had never happened!! So strange. But I (already annoyed, feeling violated, uncoordinated and completely parched) wondered aloud "Is THAT my water?!" I didn't drink it because WHO knows what kind of cooties the water bottle thief had backwashed into there?! Ugh. I was so irritated. I mean, if it was an honest mistake I could understand...the culprit should have said "I'm sorry, I accidently took your water - I thought it was mine. I'm an idiot" But there was no mea culpa. Just the water bottle back in it's place at the end of class mocking me saying "Maybe you're crazy". But I'm not crazy (well, not about this at least). I know someone stole it and they tried to pretend they didn't. I hate that shit. Anyways, I've decided to write my name on my water bottle with a permanent marker. 

I hope the H20 Thief doesn't have the same name as me.