I shop, therefore I am.

I’m not much of a sports enthusiast, but once a year, I gear up for a major event, one that I would call “mon sport favorit”. NO, it’s not the SuperBowl.

It’s SHOPPING (duh.). And not just shopping, but BOXING Day Shopping. On this day, the day after Christmas, I get up early (earlier than I do for work or any other activity) to get ready to battle with the crowds. The days leading up to December 26th are consumed with scouring flyers, knowing prices and memorizing calculations, visiting my targets and scoping the store layouts to best determine my course of action. Then I brief the troops (ie. my husband) on our mission. On Christmas night, I go over my game plan, over and over until it’s memorized. I can barely sleep - the adrenaline rush building inside...

The battle plan is simple: get the deal.

This sometimes proves to be a daunting task due to the others who have a similar plan. Unfortunately for them, they are dealing with someone who has not only trained throughout the year by going to semi-annual sales, sidewalk sales, weekly sales and surprise sales, but someone who has,  pretty much gone to the mall almost every day after school or work, since Grade 7.

I live it, I breathe it. The mall is my home court. Everyone else, is the opposing team. They have no chance.

In recent years, another event has come to my attention. The event is called Black Friday. Our neighbors to the South celebrate this day after their Thanksgiving (which happens to be today). It’s their “Boxing Day” and I hear it's even better than ours. Their sales, more ridiculous. Their crowds, more fierce. Actually, their timing is better too - everything is on sale BEFORE Christmas. I've been watching the news reports, it's as crazy as they say...

Therefore, I've decided that I am going to participate in it next year. It will be my Olympics. I will have to train more intensely than I've ever had to before. I must plan every detail and study each store layout. I must learn their taxes and memorize those calculations. I must have perfect timing. It will be tough - and there may only be a few days before where I can train onsite. Of course, the cost will be greater...but the pay-off will be well worth it. To quote Brodie from Mallrats: "I love the smell of commerce in the morning". Ah, yes. I look forward to the challenge.

So enjoy your Black Friday sales today, my fellow shoppers - next year, you will meet your match.