You know how sometimes you make a total ass of yourself and it’s just SO embarrassing?
I mean, I’m a total clutz, so I’m constantly slipping on ice, or water, or walking into walls, or tripping on my own feet …even if I’m not moving. Don’t ask me how that happens, but it does.
One time I was in Walmart and I had on a good outfit, had my designer sunglasses on my head, walkin around with a basket of canned goods. When suddenly, I don’t know how or why, I tripped. (most likely on my own feet.) Now, you know when you try to catch yourself before falling? Most of the time you can, but this time there was nothing for me to hold on to. I had my arms out, but the falling was inevitable. I totally fell forwards, the contents of my basket rolling around in the aisle, my designer sunglasses askew on my head, half on my eye and I think my sandal came off as well. So here I am on the ground in the middle of the aisle of a crowded Walmart, shocked by the fact that I actually just fell. You know how normally you try to get up as quickly as possible to avoid being seen? (or hoping that no one saw you?) Well I guess I was just so stunned that I couldn’t even get up, still trying to fathom what just happened. My husband who had been walking ahead turned around, saw me on the ground and said “GET UP.” (through clenched teeth, no less). There was no, “Are you okay? Let me help you up…” No. None of that.
See, when you’re a Filipino kid growing up and you get hurt, you don’t get sympathy from your parents. You get in trubs. It’s all “O, see? Why did you do that?!” So of course, that’s how me and my husband were raised. Getting hurt is the product of your own stupidity, so why would you get any sympathy for being stupid?! Strange, but true.
Anyways, so yeah, he was all “OMG, Get up!! Why are you still sitting there?!” People were coming up to me with my now dented canned goods asking if I was okay, my sunglasses still crooked on my head. Man, that was hardcore embarrassing. But then I seriously could not stop laughing at myself. I kept imagining this all happening in my head and how I must’ve looked sprawled out there on the floor with my sunglasses all askew and a totally shocked “I seriously cannot believe that just happened” look on my face. My husband thought I was nuts. He was probably even more embarrassed than I was – especially with the fits of hysterical laughing that followed. He was like “Let’s go. I can’t believe you fell, and now you can’t stop laughing.” I was so in trubs. LOL.
Another time, I had just walked into work and was walkin down the hallway to get to my desk. It was a good hair AND outfit day…When suddenly, I found the one spot that someone had spilled a little bit of water on (or was it a spot of melted snow?) Anyways, I slipped on it and made a loud crashing sound as went down. I was sort of stunned again, but then I yelled out “I’m OKAY!”. I mean, I seriously couldn’t hide the fact that I fell, even though no one saw me because I fell so loudly. Man, I’m such a clutz!!
And yet another time, I was at my desk, sitting in my desk chair, minding my own business. I accidently dropped my pen and leaned over to pick it up. I seriously don’t know what happened, but that darn chair rolled away right from under me and made a loud crash as it fell over. Of course, I totally fell out of my chair, much to my chagrin. Obvi, everyone heard that one as well, so I had no other course but to yell out “I’m OKAY!” to that as well. Why am I so uncoordinated? I don’t know.
Other times, I’ve had stuff stuck in my teeth while I’ve been talking at length about something, trying to sound intelligent. (Believe me, your intelligence quotient plummets when there’s a piece of spinach or black pepper stuck between your front teeth). I hate this – because really, the person you’re talking to, should be able to say “Excuse me, you have something stuck in your teeth and I can’t take my eyes off of it, so I’m not even really listening to what you’re even saying”. I mean, I do! When I’m talking to someone, I always tell them. I feel bad for them. And even though its sometimes embarrassing for you to tell them, believe me, they are way more relieved that you told them before they could embarrass themselves any further. I hate it when I go to look in the mirror and notice that there’s something stuck in my teeth. Worst feeling ever. You start to think back about who you were talking to and….ugh.
I don’t really know what the point of these stories are, except that laughing about doing something dumb makes it less embarrassing. Actually, no wait. No it doesn’t. But if everyone else is laughing, you might as well laugh too.
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