Monday, April 12, 2010

Lizzie Scissorhands - The Movie. Coming Soon....

I did it again. You all know how obsessed I am with my hair right? Well...lately my ends have been looking kind of dry...so I was thinking that I really need to get a haircut. Unfortunately my hair stylist is now on mat leave. Plus when there is something wrong with my hair, I like to get it fixed right away. So...Yeah. I kind of cut my own hair. The back too. I know what you're all thinking, "WTF?" (Why the face? lol) Especially my sister who always says "DO NOT CUT YOUR OWN HAIR". Before I go on, let me tell you why my sister is so against me cutting my and anyone else's (read: her) hair.

The following story contains real events. Some details may be disturbing and unsuitable for some readers. Reader discretion is advised.

So it was the day before picture day. My sister was in grade 5 and I was in grade 9. Now, when you are in grade 9, you think you know everything. And I, of course, was no exception. I knew absolutely everything. My sister was complaining about her bangs and my parents happened to be out. So I came up with a brilliant idea! "Why don't I just cut your bangs?" I said. I figured I had got my bangs cut enough to know how to do it. Seriously, how hard could it be? She looked at me reluctantly and said "Um...maybe I should wait for mom and dud to get home and ask them." I was like "No, I can totally do it. Trust me. I'm in grade 9." Perhaps the way I said it, with complete authority, made perfect sense to her. So I got out the scissors (I think they might have been pinking shears...Naw, I'm just kidding! Although  they were those big ones with the orange handles.) Anyways...I sat her down, tied a black garbage bag around her neck and wet down her hair. I combed it out, held it straight and made the first cut. Okay! Hm...this ain't so bad! Another snip. Whew! Still good! Another and another...until I got to the other side. Yes! Done. Not bad...oh wait, this side looks a tiny bit longer than this side. Okay. Oh, wait...now this side looks a little bit shorter, let me just fix that. And so on and so forth. Before you knew it my sister's bangs were definitely shorter. Since I had her facing me (and not the mirror). I said to her, "Um...let me style your hair! It'll be a makeover!" She was like "Okay". So I got out the hair dryer and the curling iron (and also the crimper I think) and went to work. When I was done, it wasn't that bad at all. In fact, I think it looked quite good! I turned her around and...she liked it! My parents came home and noticed that her bangs were shorter, but it looked fine so they didn't think too much of it. (Plus I kept saying "She looks SO good!" and "I love your hair, I wish my hair looked like yours!") I totally felt like I did a good, no, GREAT deed. So even though I was worried initially, it all turned out well and everyone was happy.

Until the next morning.

I went off to school while my sister, who started later, was still sleeping. Apparently, this is what happened next: she woke up a bit later and had her breakfast. Of course, since she had "bed head" (which back then, was not yet all the rage), she had to have a shower. And then...if you can imagine that scene at the end of "Home Alone" when Buzz sees what a mess his room is and yells "KEVIN! What did you do to my room?!" Yeah. I think that's what she did except she screamed "LEE! What did you do to my hair?!" Needless to say, re-takes had to be done and I was never allowed to touch her hair again.
What? I was in grade 9. What did you expect?

 Anyways...back to cutting my own hair.
I couldn't help it. It started innocently enough...I just had to snip some of the ends. And then a few more to even it all out....then it kind of turned into a free-for-all, and I ended up cutting the back too. Without a mirror. Yikes. I have to admit, when I saw how much I snipped, I was just a wee bit worried. But when I checked, it wasn't too bad. In fact, it looked just fine. Everything looked (pretty much) even! Ha! See, sometimes cutting my own hair works. And plus who doesn't come home and restyle their hair after visiting the salon? I do it all the time. Seriously, look at my hair! It's not terrible...at least I don't think so? (Hm...perhaps I need to check again to make sure.  Yes, yes it's fine!) Well, it'll do until I find another stylist...

Man, I can totally cut hair. Anyone need a haircut?

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