How do I toot my own horn?

So now that I've started blogging and realized that I quite enjoy it...I've started following other blogs. Like, professional bloggers' blogs. Their sites are so nice and cool! So I thought to myself...how can I make my blog better (ie. nice and cool)? What can I do to keep you guys reading it? (Other than the fun and exciting things that I already write about, such as my thoughts about tv shows, food I've eaten, what I did for the weekend, my love/hate relationship with the sale rack and my search for the latest "dream" boots/ dress/ lipstick, etc...) I read somewhere that to increase traffic you should add a "subscribe" button (not for payment, but for tracking, or some such thing). However I don't know how to do that. I don't know what an RSS feed is either - I don't know what it does or how it will help me. There are also suggestions to put ads on your blog, to "make money". But how is that possible? Other than having annoying pop-ups that everyone closes anyways? I don't see how annoying my readers will make me some moolah. I also read that impressions are important - just as important as the content, so how it looks can make or break your blog. There are pages of articles that say this is one place that looks ARE important, that it can mean the difference between 8 followers and 800 followers. However, I can't seem to figure out how to change how mine looks. I mean, I know how to change the templates, I just don't know how to create my own. I found a site that I could download a new free template (different from the generic ones that this site offers), but I tried it and it turned everything spanish. ie. habla espanol. That definitely did not help me. (Plus, it was a nightmare just trying to change it back to my familiar Ms. Moto Pink Template!). The articles also say to "toot your own horn". But I'm not used to doing that. (Blatantly, at least.) So...what to do, what to do? Then it came to me.

Celebrity endorsement.

Yes! Celebrity endorsement! All I need is an A-lister to say they are a fan of my blog and the rest will follow!! Then I wouldn't need all that other stuff! Who cares about putting in back links and ping-o-matics! People would be all "if Clooney reads this blog, it MUST be good!" I would be invited to Hollywood parties, New York Fashion Week, the Academy Awards! I could be a guest judge on Iron Chef America! I could be a guest judge on ANTM. Sitting beside A.L.T in his salon, telling model wannabees that "I didn't love their pose". OMG - Ryan Reynolds and Robert Pattinson would fight over me! So many possibilities!

So...Does anyone know anyone famous?

No?

Oh well. Who cares about Clooney? Who cares about the free Prada skirts and Dolce & Gabbana fur jackets? Who cares about tasting rich, exotic foods? Who cares about sitting in Andre Leon Talley's salon? Who cares about having to choose between a vampire and vampire slayer (well that last one would be nice...) Who cares about all that?!

Not me. Because I have you guys! Thank you for reading my ramblings, making comments and always giving me a reason to write. You guys are awesome. Now please, tell your friends - maybe they know someone famous.